This article was first published in Monday magazine in December 1985 and then in The Haven By-the-Sea Experience.

It was the autumn of 1972, and I remember it well. I was teaching high school in Port Alberni and was invited to attend a weekend “experiential” workshop in Parksville with a group of 20 or so other people, most of them teachers. The workshop leader: Bennet Wong. The experience: enlightening, exciting, at times terrifying. Wong demonstrated a remarkable knack of “seeing” you – or seeing right through you – and the ability to help you begin to move beyond the traumas and habits of a lifetime. In short, he could help you to grow – if you were ready; if you could handle feeling scared; if you could trust your senses; if you wanted to experience your own strength.

Out of context, stories about this sort of human potential workshop can sound threatening and a little crazy to people suspicious of revealing themselves, of “washing their dirty laundry” in front of others. At one point in the workshop, I recall being frozen with anxiety, sitting on the floor in the middle of a circle of people, while Bennet Wong took the role of my father and provoked me out of my catatonia and into a shouting rage. I pushed him to the floor and wanted to punch him in the face. On that day, I began to really understand my relationship with my father, and started the lengthy business of letting go of some useless emotional baggage. And I believe that Bennet Wong is a master of the fine art of helping others find – and heal – themselves.

And where is the amazing Dr. Wong and his charismatic self-discovery show these days? That question leads us to a resort on Gabriola Island, B.C. – Haven By-the-Sea. Haven is an unlikely cross between an educational/spiritual centre and a small resort hotel. It is owned by Bennet Wong and his partner, Jock McKeen, who have grown into major figures in human potential/self-realization circles through their many public appearances over the past two decades, and their frequent guest spots on radio and television talk shows. Many thousands of people have experienced their workshops, dating back to their days at the Cold Mountain Institute, the seminal growth centre that flourished on Cortes Island from 1970 to 1980.

In the summer of 1983, Wong and McKeen bought the old Taylor Bay Lodge on Gabriola Island, complete with dining room and a tiny perfect pub – and began to present their various workshops, inviting a few chosen group leaders and counsellors to come and offer theirs as well. It is now a funky, inexpensive, but thoroughly professional resort. They have completely transformed the rundown old lodge, and have added numerous large handsome buildings and new facilities for guests and workshop participants alike – a gym, sauna, indoor and outdoor pools, hot tubs. With a staff of thirty or so, they can accommodate over 100 people.

Wong and McKeen present an interesting contrast. Jock McKeen at 46 is slim, handsome, fluently talkative, engaging; he read me some poems at one point in my visit, declaiming like an actor, goose bumps rising on his skin. Bennet Wong, 63 is quieter, more terse in his utterances, with a gentle, intimate style – a velvet glove over a powerful presence. Wong was born in Saskatchewan of Chinese immigrant parents; McKeen is from a Scottish-Canadian background in Ontario. The two doctors have created and sustained that most unusual of relationships – a working partnership built around respect for their mutual skills in encounter, body work (with elements of massage and acupressure), dream analysis, fantasy exploration and psychodrama. The boundaries between their work and play are often seamless: Wong played the piano for singers one night, plunking away for a couple of hours, hitting lots of clinkers; McKeen sang loudly and waved his arms. They talk freely about their love for one another. Both have ex-wives elsewhere, and between them, they have three grown sons.

Haven By-the-Sea is a place where you can drop in for dinner, a drink, a stroll on the beach and a restful overnight visit. Or loosen up a little with some t’ai chi, massage, stretch and movement classes. Or move into some deeper work – encounter, body work, and gestalt. Workshop people and casual overnight visitors share the same facilities at the Haven, often dining side by side, with overlapping conversations.

During the summers, Haven does not present programs that might be threatening to unsuspecting visitors; workshops tend toward the lighter end of the emotional spectrum – dance, neurolinguistic training, painting, theatre. Far from being distant gurus, Wong and McKeen frequently socialize with staff members and seminar people, talking over food, celebrating a birthday. Something about the warmth, the lack of pretentiousness, the spontaneity of people singing in the dining room, gives this resort a dimension few others can match.

Last August, I dined on the terrace in the glow of the setting sun, then wandered inside for a game of billiards and a couple of cold beer in the pub. My jaded city self felt uncomfortable around some of the sentimental ceremonies at Haven – the music at sunset, the singing at the piano, the many hugs and squeezes. During one visit, I found myself in the middle of an emotional farewell to a woman staff member who was leaving the following day. I wandered into the dining room just as she was walking about in a large circle of ten or twelve people – including Wong and McKeen – in a new red dress they had given her. Some people were complimenting her on her appearance; some were weeping; Wong played some emotional songs on the tape recorder; McKeen read a poem.

I took my beer and scuttled outside, not wanting to intrude on this rather public private occasion. Later I discovered that this woman had only owned one dress in her life, and was about to go back out into what had been for her the very cold cruel world once again, transformed by a year and a half at Haven, better able to cope and to ask for help.

People come from all over the world to experience Haven. Most, of course, come from the west coast of Canada and the USA – Vancouver, Seattle, Victoria. Why do they come? Because lives and relationships feel empty and futile. Because careers, hopes and expectations remain unfulfilled. Because they’re curious and long to make some changes. Because they’re looking for something that happens there; they want to breathe in some of the spiritual/emotional oxygen that so many have found so reinvigorating. They want to rediscover their excitement and find meaning in their lives. And some, eschewing all that profound stuff, just come for a break, and some good food and company.

If I had lots of money, I’d send my friends and relations to Haven for a holiday – or an off-season retreat – just to get the feel of the place. I think many of them would go back for more, and earn some of the rewards that come from the honest pursuit of self-understanding.

Ellery Littleton is a former teacher and counselor with over 30 years' experience as a professional writer. He has written many magazine and newspaper articles (several of them about The Haven) and has published a novel and two books of poetry. He leads the following courses at The Haven:

Writing for Life
Writing for Life: Intensive
Pro-D for the Self
From Memory to Memoir

Ellery Littleton